Project: Let's be real

Let me just tell you - this is NOT the post I had planned.

I have been in a weird funk for the last couple of weeks and especially this past weekend.
I was doing some soul searching after a weekend of binge-watching The Office on Netflix (for the first time ever!).

And I realized I was being overcome with comparison guilt. 

It is a terrible, no good bad thing to do. I know, I know. 

I normally don't give in to that. I love to learn from others and build from those things but I know and am generally comfortable in the fact that I am different and unique. But for some reason, I was allowing comparison to steal my joy and I was trying to figure out what was going on with me.

Wanna know the crazy thing? 

A month ago, I had the amazing opportunity to participate in a photoshoot that was literally on this subject! When Brandi (check her blog out here!) organized it, she said she just wanted to the focus to be all about:

 Loving and embracing our imperfections.

 Thick, thin, scarred, dimpled, crooked, straight - all of it. 

 Love ourselves for who we are. 

 Stop focusing on what we could be 

Laugh, enjoy ourselves and our bodies. 

Jaira Johnson Photography

And we did laugh and have so much fun! 

However... in the last couple of weeks, I have FELT the complete opposite of embracing my imperfections - (not just physically - also with skills I'm working to grow, as well as learning new ones)!

There have been some emotionally difficult things I've been processing which normally affects me a little. But I haven't been wallowing in a pile self-pity. I have actually been trying to be super focused on my self care! I've been in the gym at least 2 times a week (and sometimes more!), drinking half of my body weight in water, reading some amazing books, TONS of fun things stuff going on and coming up - definitely not a lack of things to share with you all!
... so what is wrong?

 It finally hit me...

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I was trying too hard to be perfect. 

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Hi, my name is Brooke and I am a perfectionist. 

Jaira Johnson Photography | Southern Sirens (makeup)

I like to practice and learn things on my own first and when I finally go for it (especially in a public setting) - I want it to be perfect with no mistakes. 

I have learned that is just. not. realistic! But that doesn't mean that thought doesn't creep in my head and heart and start to make me second guess myself. 

I started being hard on myself - everytime in the last few weeks that I would start to share all of those things in my brain - some kind of fear of imperfection stopped me:
 * my hair wasn't great
 * my outfit wasn't put together
 * my makeup wasn't at its best {or even there}
 * and so. much. more!

I spend a lot of time focusing on what I "could be" (ex. with a skill or even looking better in a crop top or bikini) and if I'm not to a point where I feel accomplished - I can be very hard on myself, telling myself that I can't share that thing/topic/photo yet because "you could be better and you need to wait until that time."

Rachel Hollis has this amazing quote that says, "Are you humble enough to suck for as long as it takes you to become better?

There are so many amazing people in this blogging world that I absolutely love and when I see their posts, blogs and stories, I sometimes think "do they ever have an off day?!" They're completely perfectly made up/contoured faces, perfect outfits, perfectly styled hair (even if it's supposed to be "messy" - someone please teach me how to do a pretty messy bun??), cutest poses, the most fun brand partnerships... the list goes on!

But you know what else? Not a one of them are brand new or just starting out. They've been doing this for a while, some of them even years!

Are any of those things things I can't have?

Nope. 

There are definitely days when I feel like $1 MILLION - my makeup is fresh and complete, my hair is clean and styled, and my outfit is mostly spot on.

But - that is not REAL LIFE for me all the time. 

Then I realized, I have been trying too hard to be perfect that I wasn't even being myself. And when you're not yourself, you definitely can't focus on improving YOU!

Let me clear up one thing though - I am by no means saying you shouldn't be made up or dressed up ever or even always! I LOVE getting dressed up/made up when I have the opportunity. I feel like I could take on the world with a great pair of heels, hair & makeup done, LASHES, and a killer outfit.

What I need to work on though - and maybe you too - is celebrating my real life. 

Even when it isn't Insta-perfect. 

I came across this quote today that could not have summed up the funk I've been any better:

Why in the world would I let myself feel inadequate?!?

I wasn't being real with my own self - trying to put myself in someone else's box (that they've spent years working on as well). I have to remind myself every single day that my responsibility is to do MY very best. Not someone else's best, my best.

You are the only one that can offer what YOU have to offer. So fully embrace that and put it out there! Perfect your weaknesses by continuing to learn and seeking opportunities to grow. But most of all - do not, DO NOT let comparison to anyone or anything else steal YOUR JOY. You can't move forward while you trying to be like someone else. Telling my own self this too! <3

All of these gorgeous girls that were about of the "love" photoshoot I mentioned earlier are all uniquely them. Isn't what is so fun about people? Our differences! I'm so proud to call all these ladies friends and we ALL have different passions!

Jaira Johnson Photography

 One of my favorite bloggers who just recently wrote a book called "Own Your Everyday" said this:

 

I know this has been full of quotes, but it was more therapeutic for me than anything!  While I was typing this, I saw that today - July 24 - is International Self Care Day. That was even confirmation that I needed to share with y'all what I was struggling with and I could not think of any better than self-care than by writing this all out! I hope this resonates with one of you that needed this reminder too!

I really love to share my life with all of you! I want to take you along my real life journey! I want you to see real moments and fancy moments, good times and hard times - I want you to be able to trust my opinion and feel like a friend on the other side of the screen. Cheers to being more real - coming your way via my Insta & Facebook if you keep up with me daily!

If you want to see more, I'd love to meet you/interact with you and for you to come follow along:

Instagram: @itsbrookeallison
Facebook: Brooke Allison

If you like reading my posts, subscribe on the home page (left side!) and you'll be notified everytime I share something new!

Finally - a little tip from one of my all-time favorite ladies, Judy Garland: 

***A very special thank you to Jaira Johnson Photography for getting these great shots, Cook Loft for hosting us, Southern Sirens for making us extra-gorgeous, Drink Knox for keeping us hydrated & Family Meal / David & Danielle & Gourmet Cookie for keeping us fed while we walked all around downtown Knoxville in the summer heat!